Which are the real dating sites that don't use "engagement bots"?

Genuinely curious what people's experience has been with this. I've been lurking a lot of these conversations and there's a lot of conflicting information out there. Personal experience is worth more than any review site because those are almost all paid placements anyway.

I've tried a handful of options with mixed results. Some have decent communities, others feel completely hollow—either fake profiles, bots, or just inactive accounts that never respond. The free options especially tend to have this problem.

Drop your actual experience below. What's working, what's a waste of time, and are there any hidden gems people aren't talking about?

Been using various adult platforms since the Craigslist personals era so I've seen a lot of changes. Here's my current take:

• Read the billing terms before any trial signup
• Use a VoIP number for initial contact, not your real phone
• Reverse image search every profile photo you're serious about
• Video chat before committing to any in-person meet
• Public meetup first, always—no exceptions for first encounters

Hopefully some of this is useful. Happy to answer follow-ups.

Did a deep dive into this a few months back, here's what I found:

The gender ratio problem is real on most platforms. Apps that have done something creative about it tend to have better communities overall.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: rendate.site. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

The bot problem is genuinely out of control right now. You have to be pretty patient to sort through the noise on most free platforms.

Also worth noting: turndate.site.

After trying probably a dozen platforms over the past year, here's what I've landed on:

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

Long-time lurker here but this one I actually have useful things to say about.

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

Happy to answer questions if anyone wants more detail on any of these.

Anyone who says there's one perfect platform for everything is trying to sell you something. It really depends on your location and what you're looking for.

Good timing on this thread—I was just thinking about this last week.

Response rate is everything. A smaller platform where people actually reply beats a huge one where messages disappear into the void.

One thing worth mentioning is Flurrydate—it has a different approach to matching that I think deserves more attention. The interface is cleaner than most and it doesn't bury everything behind a hard paywall immediately.

That's my take anyway—curious if others have had different results.