I keep going round in circles on etiquette for joining a private sexed chat room and I'd rather ask than guess. Same story on sexed chat rooms: the quality of the filters is the number worth watching, not how many photos people post. Every time sexed chat rooms comes up, you get further if you keep the first meet public and short.
For sexed joining in particular, what decides it is how many first messages actually land, not the number of features listed. With sexed, how fast moderation responds moves the needle further than the number of features listed, for what it is worth. Applied to sexed joining, the deciding factor is the time it takes to get a first reply, going by the last year or so.
I judge sexed on one thing: half the frustration disappears once you check what the free tier gates before investing time. My honest read on etiquette for joining a private sexed chat room: the platform throttles your visibility unless you pay, and how quickly the inbox fills suffers for it. If you have been through the sexed chat rooms version of this, I would rather hear the unglamorous account.