How does facebook online dating handle people on your friends list?

Started by David Hall 5 Aug 2024 Dating & Hookups Community
David Hall
David Hall avatar
Joined: 2023
Posts: 3378
#1

Genuinely curious what people's experience has been with this. I've been lurking a lot of these conversations and there's a lot of conflicting information out there. Personal experience is worth more than any review site because those are almost all paid placements anyway.

I've tried a handful of options with mixed results. Some have decent communities, others feel completely hollow—either fake profiles, bots, or just inactive accounts that never respond. The free options especially tend to have this problem.

Drop your actual experience below. What's working, what's a waste of time, and are there any hidden gems people aren't talking about?

HollyS
HollyS avatar
Joined: 2016
Posts: 1341
#2

Appreciate the thread. Bookmarking this for later when I have time to go through everything properly.

Ben
Ben avatar
Joined: 2019
Posts: 245
#3

After trying probably a dozen platforms over the past year, here's what I've landed on:

The key is managing expectations from the start. Free platforms exist on a spectrum from 'actually free' to 'free for 48 hours then you're locked out.' You need to read the fine print before investing time in a profile.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: datescout.site. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

KaylaH
KaylaH avatar
Joined: 2017
Posts: 2598
#4

The bot problem is genuinely out of control right now. You have to be pretty patient to sort through the noise on most free platforms.

Also worth noting: luvdate.site.

Amanda Fox
Amanda Fox avatar
Joined: 2015
Posts: 1850
#5

Okay, going to actually put effort into answering this one because it comes up all the time and the answers are usually unhelpful.

  • Mobile-first design is now the standard for good platforms
  • Video verification before meetups is the single best safety tool
  • Paywalls that let you see but not contact are a yellow flag
  • Check for recent activity on profiles before investing time
  • Report bots aggressively—good platforms act on reports quickly

Take the above as a starting point, not the final word. Your mileage may vary significantly.

MelA
MelA avatar
Joined: 2020
Posts: 1902
#6

This is something I've thought about a lot. Let me lay out a more complete picture.

  • Mobile-first design is now the standard for good platforms
  • Video verification before meetups is the single best safety tool
  • Paywalls that let you see but not contact are a yellow flag
  • Check for recent activity on profiles before investing time
  • Report bots aggressively—good platforms act on reports quickly

Take the above as a starting point, not the final word. Your mileage may vary significantly.

RachG
RachG avatar
Joined: 2017
Posts: 143
#7

Let me break down what I've learned the hard way:

Response rate is everything. A smaller platform where people actually reply beats a huge one where messages disappear into the void.

Happy to answer questions if anyone wants more detail on any of these.

Chase
Chase avatar
Joined: 2018
Posts: 2894
#8

Long-time lurker here but this one I actually have useful things to say about.

Profile quality matters more than most people think. A well-written bio with specific details about what you're looking for does better than a generic one even with worse photos.

One thing worth mentioning is Datescout—it has a different approach to matching that I think deserves more attention. The interface is cleaner than most and it doesn't bury everything behind a hard paywall immediately.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

Marcus
Marcus avatar
Joined: 2023
Posts: 503
#9

Good timing on this thread—I was just thinking about this last week.

The gender ratio problem is real on most platforms. Apps that have done something creative about it tend to have better communities overall.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: datebie.online, flamedate.online. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

MarcC
MarcC avatar
Joined: 2017
Posts: 2122
#10

Let me break down what I've learned the hard way:

The key is managing expectations from the start. Free platforms exist on a spectrum from 'actually free' to 'free for 48 hours then you're locked out.' You need to read the fine print before investing time in a profile.

Take it or leave it, but those are the platforms that have actually worked for me.

Gregory
Gregory avatar
Joined: 2017
Posts: 829
#11

Reading the terms of service before handing over payment info has saved me from recurring billing surprises more than once.

Came across Datenest recently—worth a look.

Ashley Turner
Ashley Turner avatar
Joined: 2023
Posts: 1606
#12

Long-time lurker here but this one I actually have useful things to say about.

Profile quality matters more than most people think. A well-written bio with specific details about what you're looking for does better than a generic one even with worse photos.

That's my take anyway—curious if others have had different results.

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