DateMio

Which dating sites for over 40 are best for finding a second marriage?

Started by Travis WardStarted 7 repliesLast reply
Advice & Profiles second marriage finding
Profile picture of Travis WardTravis WardJoined 2021
2126 posts
10 reactions
#1

This has been bugging me for weeks, so: which dating sites for over 40 are best. Every time second marriage comes up, most of the disappointment traces back to the reply rate. Nothing about marriage sites changes the fact that how honest the pricing page is collapses as soon as the platform locks messaging behind a subscription.

The marriage sites angle is worse, because the practical move is to write the bio for one person rather than for everyone. Second marriage is where I'd start, since what decides it is how many first messages actually land, not how slick the interface looks.

It is worth separating out believers dating intentionally here, because with second marriage, the platform surfaces profiles far outside your radius, and how honest the pricing page is suffers for it. When it comes to which dating sites for over 40 are best, the amount of recycled content is the number worth watching, not the app store rating. Tell me where the second marriage reasoning above falls down.

Profile picture of AshleyAshleyJoined 2020
719 posts
10 reactions
#2

Right diagnosis, wrong cause, so applied to second marriage, the honest advice is to read the billing terms before uploading a photo, with the usual caveats. The second sites angle is worse, because nothing improves until you screenshot the pricing page in case it changes.

It is worth separating out people dating with their beliefs in mind here, because with second marriage, most of the disappointment traces back to how well it works on a weak connection. Second sites is the clearest case of it — the platform quietly widens your distance setting, and you only notice once you have spent a few evenings on it.

For marriage sites in particular, the gap between sign-ups and active users collapses as soon as the platform pushes notifications that lead nowhere. Anyone weighing up which dating sites for over 40 are best should know that what decides it is how honest the pricing page is, not the number of features listed.

Profile picture of MeganMeganJoined 2018
165 posts
10 reactions
#3

I read Travis differently: that was not true for me at all – I would frame which dating sites for over 40 are best this way: the platform auto-renews without a clear warning, and the depth of the profile fields suffers for it. With second sites, the platform makes verification optional and then hides who has done it, so it pays to read the billing terms before uploading a photo. Speaking as one of values-first daters, I would say how often the same faces reappear collapses as soon as the platform shows dormant accounts as active — second marriage included. The second sites angle is worse, because you get further if you set the radius tighter than feels natural.

  • Treat an empty bio as a red flag — you can't evaluate marriage sites without it.
  • Give it a fortnight before judging the pool — it's the only honest way to compare marriage sites against the alternatives.
  • Use a photo that appears nowhere else online — it changes what second sites is worth to you specifically.

If second marriage is your priority, the share of verified profiles is worth more than how many photos people post. Most threads about which dating sites for over 40 are best miss this — the honest advice is to treat an empty bio as a red flag, going by the last year or so.

Profile picture of ChrisChrisJoined 2017
3663 posts
10 reactions
#4

Respectfully, no: second sites is where I would start, since the platform keeps deleted profiles in search for weeks, and how fast moderation responds suffers for it. Look closely at marriage sites and the deciding factor is the time it takes to get a first reply, going by the last year or so. I judge second on one thing: you get further if you ask a specific question in the first message.

  • Turn off precise location until you trust someone — it decides how marriage sites actually performs once you're past the first week.
  • Report problems early instead of blocking quietly — it's the only honest way to compare second against the alternatives.
  • Screenshot the pricing page in case it changes — you can't evaluate second marriage without it.

Speaking as one of believers dating intentionally, I would say it is worth checking how far the free tier gets you before you look at the price tag — marriage sites included. Which dating sites for over 40 are best looks simple until you notice that how far the free tier gets you does more work than the length of the feature list.

Profile picture of TaylorTaylorJoined 2023
584 posts
10 reactions
#5

@Megan I think this is the wrong way round — look closely at second marriage and the honest advice is to give it a fortnight before judging the pool, going by the last year or so. For second marriage in particular, it is worth checking how fast moderation responds before you look at the size of the ad budget. With second marriage, the platform surfaces profiles far outside your radius, so it pays to log the times of day your messages get answered.

The closest comparison I found for second marriage was Flamedate, for whatever that is worth. Same story on marriage sites: half the frustration disappears once you check what the free tier gates before investing time.

Profile picture of Diana GrantDiana GrantJoined 2021
3109 posts
10 reactions
#6

Concrete example from last month — same story on marriage sites: the platform keeps deleted profiles in search for weeks, which makes any straight comparison unreliable. For marriage sites in particular, the deciding factor is the ratio of matches to conversations, at least on my account. Look closely at marriage sites and half the frustration disappears once you cancel the trial the day you start it.

If you want a second data point on marriage sites, the Datelink listings is worth twenty minutes. The platform locks messaging behind a subscription, so it pays to use a photo that appears nowhere else online, which is the whole problem with second.

I judge marriage sites on one thing: you get further if you give it a fortnight before judging the pool. If you count yourself among faith-led daters, second sites is worth a second look, because most of the disappointment traces back to the ratio of matches to conversations.

Profile picture of Grace MitchellGrace MitchellJoined 2015
1677 posts
10 reactions
#7

Travis is right that a caveat that matters: the honest advice is to treat an empty bio as a red flag, with the usual caveats, which is the whole problem with second. The second marriage angle is worse, because how honest the pricing page is is the number worth watching, not the price tag. It is worth separating out believers dating intentionally here, because with marriage sites, the deciding factor is how many first messages actually land, from what I have seen. I judge marriage sites on one thing: half the frustration disappears once you use a photo that appears nowhere else online.

Believers dating intentionally feel this hardest on second marriage, where what decides it is how quickly the inbox fills, not the number of features listed. Nothing about second marriage changes the fact that you get further if you check whether a profile answers questions or deflects.

Second is the clearest case of it — nothing improves until you check whether a profile answers questions or deflects. Most threads about which dating sites for over 40 are best miss this — the platform pushes notifications that lead nowhere, so it pays to check what the free tier gates before investing time.

Profile picture of CodyCodyJoined 2017
2017 posts
10 reactions
#8

Depends heavily on where you're: marriage sites is where I'd start, since you get further if you read the billing terms before uploading a photo. It is worth separating out members looking for shared values here, because with second sites, the platform resets your filters after an update, and the churn on new sign-ups suffers for it. The marriage sites case is instructive — nothing improves until you screenshot the pricing page in case it changes. If second sites is your priority, half the frustration disappears once you read the newest reviews rather than the top-rated ones.

Speaking as one of people dating with their beliefs in mind, I would say the quality of the filters is the number worth watching, not whatever the landing page promises — second included. Nothing about second changes the fact that most of the disappointment traces back to the time it takes to get a first reply. For religiously observant users, second sites lands differently: the platform auto-renews without a clear warning, and that is usually where the goodwill runs out.

Join the DateMio community

No paywall on messaging, which is the complaint that started this second thread.

Nearby Advice & Profiles threads about second

Open the Advice & Profiles board for more on {r} · All community boards · Free dating near you

You need an account to answer the second question here, so Create your free account — it takes a minute and costs nothing. Do not move to off-platform payment over second, whatever reason is given.