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Which are the best dating sites not for hookups?

Started by AmandaFStarted 5 repliesLast reply
Adult & Hookups not hookups sites
Profile picture of AmandaFAmandaFJoined 2016
324 posts
10 reactions
#1

Hoping someone here has actually tested which are the best dating sites not for hookups rather than just read about it. The hookups sites angle is worse, because the share of verified profiles collapses as soon as the platform shows dormant accounts as active. Same story on hookups sites: it is worth checking the proportion of dormant accounts before you look at the app store rating.

For not hookups in particular, nothing improves until you ask a specific question in the first message. If not is your priority, the depth of the profile fields is the number worth watching, not the badge on the download page.

With not sites, the deciding factor is the time it takes to get a first reply, based on a fairly small sample. Put which are the best dating sites not for hookups beside anything comparable and the number of live users beats the badge on the download page. What am I missing on not hookups?

Profile picture of AnthonyAnthonyJoined 2019
4036 posts
10 reactions
#2

Yes, and it goes further – the practical move is to read the billing terms before uploading a photo, which is the whole problem with not. Applied to not, the platform surfaces profiles far outside your radius, and you only notice once you have spent a few evenings on it. With not, the share of verified profiles is the number worth watching, not the price tag. Same story on hookups sites: it is worth checking how quickly the inbox fills before you look at the size of the database.

Profile picture of HannahHannahJoined 2018
1870 posts
10 reactions
#3

AmandaF, that hasn't been my experience — glad someone said it — not is where I'd start, since the platform makes verification optional and then hides who has done it, which is easy to mistake for bad luck. Nothing about not sites changes the fact that the practical move is to read the newest reviews rather than the top-rated ones. Same story on not: the platform makes verification optional and then hides who has done it, so it pays to cancel the trial the day you start it.

Before writing off not entirely, it is worth seeing how the Datewander community handles the same thing. Applied to not sites, the signal-to-noise in search does more work than raw member count.

  • Write the bio for one person rather than for everyone — otherwise not looks identical to everything else on the shelf.
  • Video call before travelling anywhere — it's the only honest way to compare not hookups against the alternatives.
  • Treat an empty bio as a red flag — hookups sites rewards patience here more than most people expect.
  • Turn off precise location until you trust someone — it changes what not hookups is worth to you specifically.

For not hookups in particular, most of the disappointment traces back to the gap between sign-ups and active users. I would frame which are the best dating sites not for hookups this way: the ratio of matches to conversations beats the length of the feature list, having tried a handful of these.

Profile picture of LoganPLoganPJoined 2019
510 posts
10 reactions
#4

@Anthony half right, I think — my honest read on which are the best dating sites not for hookups: the amount of recycled content is the number worth watching, not the app store rating. Nothing about not sites changes the fact that the platform resets your filters after an update, and how much sits behind the paywall suffers for it. The not case is instructive — the number of live users does more work than the size of the database, in my experience.

Look closely at hookups sites and the deciding factor is the ratio of matches to conversations, speaking only for my own city. Not is the clearest case of it — you get further if you screenshot the pricing page in case it changes.

What decides it is the depth of the profile fields, not the number of features listed, which is the whole problem with not hookups. Most threads about which are the best dating sites not for hookups miss this — the reply rate collapses as soon as the platform resets your filters after an update.

Profile picture of Dylan FosterDylan FosterJoined 2017
1817 posts
10 reactions
#5

LoganP is right that I'm going to push back on this — with not sites, the quality of the filters collapses as soon as the platform shows dormant accounts as active. For not in particular, the quality of the filters matters more than star ratings from strangers. Applied to not sites, nothing improves until you keep a note of what you actually spent.

I ended up cross-checking not hookups against datebound.site before I committed to anything. The not case is instructive — what decides it is the number of live users, not the price tag.

Profile picture of KaylaKaylaJoined 2021
3288 posts
10 reactions
#6

For a data point, and the part of which are the best dating sites not for hookups people underrate is that nothing improves until you ask a specific question in the first message. Nothing about not changes the fact that the practical move is to check what the free tier gates before investing time.

You get further if you turn off precise location until you trust someone, which is the whole problem with not. Look closely at not hookups and the platform hides read receipts on the free tier, so it pays to give it a fortnight before judging the pool.

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