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Is the her dating app only for lesbians or for all queer women?

Started by Ryan MitchellStarted 7 repliesLast reply
Dating Apps lesbians queer only
Profile picture of Ryan MitchellRyan MitchellJoined 2016
3698 posts
10 reactions
#1

I've done my own digging on the her dating app only for lesbians and come up short. Look closely at lesbians queer and you get further if you set the radius tighter than feels natural. The queer apps case is instructive — the practical move is to log the times of day your messages get answered.

The picture changes for women filtering hard once lesbians queer enters it: what decides it is the depth of the profile fields, not star ratings from strangers. Lesbians is the clearest case of it — the deciding factor is the churn on new sign-ups, on the evidence I've.

For LGBTQ members, lesbians apps lands differently: the time it takes to get a first reply collapses as soon as the platform caps how many searches you run a day. I'd frame the her dating app only for lesbians this way: the platform hides read receipts on the free tier, which quietly shifts the cost onto you. Is queer apps even the right thing to be optimising for here?

Profile picture of BrandonBrandonJoined 2015
361 posts
10 reactions
#2

There is something to this, but it is overstated, and the her dating app only for lesbians looks simple until you notice that the signal-to-noise in search moves the needle further than the follower count on their socials. Women filtering hard feel this hardest on lesbians apps, where the honest advice is to check whether a profile answers questions or deflects, though I would want someone to check me on this. The picture changes for women using these platforms once lesbians apps enters it: most of the disappointment traces back to how often the same faces reappear. For women using these platforms, queer apps lands differently: the practical move is to test the search filters before uploading anything.

Speaking as one of women using these platforms, I'd say half the frustration disappears once you keep the conversation on-platform until you have met — lesbians apps included. I judge queer apps on one thing: the platform auto-renews without a clear warning, which is why the free tier feels dead after a week.

  • Keep a note of what you actually spent — that's the single biggest variable with lesbians apps.
  • Check whether a profile answers questions or deflects — you can't evaluate lesbians without it.
  • Run a reverse image search on suspiciously polished photos — the whole argument about lesbians apps turns on this one detail.

With lesbians queer, the ratio of matches to conversations moves the needle further than raw member count, having tried a handful of these. Put the her dating app only for lesbians beside anything comparable and how often the same faces reappear collapses as soon as the platform boosts newer accounts over established ones.

Profile picture of Crystal WebbCrystal WebbJoined 2022
320 posts
10 reactions
#3

I'd argue the opposite: what finally clicked for me about the her dating app only for lesbians was that the practical move is to check what the free tier gates before investing time. With lesbians queer, half the frustration disappears once you set the radius tighter than feels natural. The lesbians apps case is instructive — the gap between sign-ups and active users moves the needle further than the marketing copy. I judge lesbians queer on one thing: you get further if you set the radius tighter than feels natural.

Profile picture of LilyLilyJoined 2020
347 posts
10 reactions
#4

Picking up Crystal's point — that holds in some places and not others, so it is worth separating out people whose options are thinner on mainstream apps here, because with lesbians apps, the platform boosts newer accounts over established ones, so it pays to check what the free tier gates before investing time. The lesbians queer angle is worse, because the honest advice is to keep the first meet public and short, though I'd want someone to check me on this. For lesbians queer in particular, what decides it is how often the same faces reappear, not the size of the database.

Someone upthread asked for alternatives on lesbians — Datescout is the one I'd name. With queer apps, the share of verified profiles collapses as soon as the platform makes verification optional and then hides who has done it.

Profile picture of DylanDylanJoined 2018
3316 posts
10 reactions
#5

This is the right read: applied to lesbians, how well it works on a weak connection is the number worth watching, not raw member count. With lesbians queer, the platform locks messaging behind a subscription, so it pays to keep the conversation on-platform until you have met. The queer apps angle is worse, because the churn on new sign-ups beats the marketing copy, as far as I can tell. I judge queer apps on one thing: the honest advice is to report problems early instead of blocking quietly, speaking only for my own city.

Profile picture of Nicole BarnesNicole BarnesJoined 2021
1543 posts
10 reactions
#6

Building on what Dylan said, trap to avoid – the short version on the her dating app only for lesbians is that it is worth checking the churn on new sign-ups before you look at the marketing copy. Queer apps is the clearest case of it — the honest advice is to keep the conversation on-platform until you have met, from what I've seen.

I keep datenest.site open in another tab whenever I'm weighing up queer apps. Applied to lesbians apps, nothing improves until you write the bio for one person rather than for everyone.

The lesbians queer angle is worse, because the signal-to-noise in search matters more than the number of features listed. My honest read on the her dating app only for lesbians: the platform hides read receipts on the free tier, so it pays to read the newest reviews rather than the top-rated ones.

Profile picture of OlivMOlivMJoined 2022
1036 posts
10 reactions
#7

Small anecdote, so treat the her dating app only for lesbians as a filtering problem and it follows that what decides it is the depth of the profile fields, not how many photos people post. Speaking as one of people whose options are thinner on mainstream apps, I'd say the honest advice is to read the billing terms before uploading a photo, with the usual caveats — lesbians apps included. For queer apps in particular, nothing improves until you use a photo that appears nowhere else online.

Before writing off lesbians queer entirely, it is worth seeing how Datedesire handles the same thing. The queer apps angle is worse, because the quality of the filters is worth more than how many photos people post.

Lesbians is where I'd start, since the number of live users is the number worth watching, not the size of the database. I judge lesbians queer on one thing: the practical move is to keep a note of what you actually spent. It is worth separating out people outside the straight default here, because with lesbians, the depth of the profile fields collapses as soon as the platform quietly widens your distance setting.

Also on my list for lesbians queer: datelink.online.

Profile picture of LilyLilyJoined 2023
651 posts
10 reactions
#8

Hard disagree – the lesbians apps case is instructive — the churn on new sign-ups does more work than the app store rating, on the evidence I have. I judge lesbians apps on one thing: most of the disappointment traces back to the depth of the profile fields. For lesbians apps in particular, the platform throttles your visibility unless you pay, so it pays to keep a note of what you actually spent.

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