Is an open dating app better for finding non-traditional relationships?

Started by Heather Nelson 30 May 2024 Dating & Hookups Community
Heather Nelson
Heather Nelson avatar
Joined: 2022
Posts: 3869
#1

Genuinely curious what people's experience has been with this. I've been lurking a lot of these conversations and there's a lot of conflicting information out there. Personal experience is worth more than any review site because those are almost all paid placements anyway.

I've tried a handful of options with mixed results. Some have decent communities, others feel completely hollow—either fake profiles, bots, or just inactive accounts that never respond. The free options especially tend to have this problem.

Drop your actual experience below. What's working, what's a waste of time, and are there any hidden gems people aren't talking about?

ChaseM
ChaseM avatar
Joined: 2016
Posts: 3893
#2

Speaking from experience on this one:

Response rate is everything. A smaller platform where people actually reply beats a huge one where messages disappear into the void.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: datewander.site. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

Happy to answer questions if anyone wants more detail on any of these.

Caleb Hughes
Caleb Hughes avatar
Joined: 2022
Posts: 3272
#3

Verified profiles make such a difference. Platforms that require it have a noticeably better signal-to-noise ratio.

Also worth noting: datescout.site.

AutH
AutH avatar
Joined: 2015
Posts: 1880
#4

I'll give you the honest breakdown since there's a lot of marketing noise around this topic:

  • Free doesn't always mean free—look for trial periods with auto-renewal
  • Profile verification reduces bot ratios significantly
  • Smaller communities often have better engagement than huge platforms
  • Privacy settings matter—always check what's public by default
  • Response rate > profile count: 50 active users beats 50,000 ghosts

Hopefully some of this is useful. Happy to answer follow-ups.

Claire
Claire avatar
Joined: 2016
Posts: 498
#5

This is something I've thought about a lot. Let me lay out a more complete picture.

  • Read the billing terms before any trial signup
  • Use a VoIP number for initial contact, not your real phone
  • Reverse image search every profile photo you're serious about
  • Video chat before committing to any in-person meet
  • Public meetup first, always—no exceptions for first encounters

For what it's worth, I've been using Datewander recently and the experience has been noticeably better than the more well-known options. Less fake-feeling, responses actually happen.

Take the above as a starting point, not the final word. Your mileage may vary significantly.

Nathan
Nathan avatar
Joined: 2021
Posts: 566
#6

Okay, going to actually put effort into answering this one because it comes up all the time and the answers are usually unhelpful.

  • Read the billing terms before any trial signup
  • Use a VoIP number for initial contact, not your real phone
  • Reverse image search every profile photo you're serious about
  • Video chat before committing to any in-person meet
  • Public meetup first, always—no exceptions for first encounters

Hopefully some of this is useful. Happy to answer follow-ups.

AustR
AustR avatar
Joined: 2016
Posts: 535
#7

Speaking from experience on this one:

The key is managing expectations from the start. Free platforms exist on a spectrum from 'actually free' to 'free for 48 hours then you're locked out.' You need to read the fine print before investing time in a profile.

One thing worth mentioning is Datebound—it has a different approach to matching that I think deserves more attention. The interface is cleaner than most and it doesn't bury everything behind a hard paywall immediately.

Happy to answer questions if anyone wants more detail on any of these.

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