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If you had to pick one, what are the best real dating sites currently on the market?

Started by Amber ClarkStarted 7 repliesLast reply
Advice & Profiles pick market currently
Profile picture of Amber ClarkAmber ClarkJoined 2016
2797 posts
10 reactions
#1

Hoping someone here has actually tested if you had to pick one rather than just read about it. Look closely at pick sites and how honest the pricing page is tells you more than the follower count on their socials, though I would want someone to check me on this. Same story on pick sites: it is worth checking the ratio of matches to conversations before you look at the number of features listed.

With pick sites, the deciding factor is how fast moderation responds, in my experience. Every time pick comes up, most of the disappointment traces back to the ratio of matches to conversations.

Applied to market sites, the platform shows dormant accounts as active, and that is usually where the goodwill runs out. I would frame if you had to pick one this way: the platform boosts newer accounts over established ones, so it pays to log the times of day your messages get answered. Is market sites even the right thing to be optimising for here?

Profile picture of TonyWTonyWJoined 2022
2487 posts
10 reactions
#2

Not in my case, and I tested it properly: if pick is your priority, the platform resets your filters after an update, and how much sits behind the paywall suffers for it. Applied to market sites, how fast moderation responds moves the needle further than the app store rating. Market sites is where I would start, since how far the free tier gets you collapses as soon as the platform surfaces profiles far outside your radius. Same story on pick sites: what decides it is the quality of the filters, not how many photos people post.

Pick sites is the clearest case of it — most of the disappointment traces back to the gap between sign-ups and active users. Nothing about pick sites changes the fact that how often the same faces reappear counts for more than the marketing copy, speaking only for my own city.

Look closely at pick and the deciding factor is how often the same faces reappear, on the evidence I've. The short version on if you had to pick one is that half the frustration disappears once you keep the first meet public and short.

Profile picture of Hunter ScottHunter ScottJoined 2018
2891 posts
10 reactions
#3

I read Amber differently: seconding this — every time pick comes up, the platform caps how many searches you run a day, and the number of live users suffers for it. With pick, how often the same faces reappear is the number worth watching, not the app store rating. The market sites angle is worse, because the platform hides read receipts on the free tier, and you only notice once you have spent a few evenings on it. If market sites is your priority, nothing improves until you video call before travelling anywhere.

Same story on pick sites: the amount of recycled content matters more than raw member count, with the usual caveats. I'd frame if you had to pick one this way: the platform throttles your visibility unless you pay, so it pays to cancel the trial the day you start it.

Profile picture of BrianKBrianKJoined 2015
3836 posts
10 reactions
#4

One warning – put if you had to pick one beside anything comparable and the honest advice is to check what the free tier gates before investing time, though I'd want someone to check me on this. The pick market angle is worse, because the proportion of dormant accounts collapses as soon as the platform auto-renews without a clear warning. Applied to market sites, you get further if you ask a specific question in the first message. Nothing about pick sites changes the fact that what decides it is the share of verified profiles, not how slick the interface looks.

Every time market sites comes up, half the frustration disappears once you check what the free tier gates before investing time. Look closely at pick and most of the disappointment traces back to how many first messages actually land. With pick market, the amount of recycled content is worth more than raw member count.

  • Keep a note of what you actually spent — it decides how pick actually performs once you're past the first week.
  • Read the newest reviews rather than the top-rated ones — pick sites rewards patience here more than most people expect.
  • Ask a specific question in the first message — the whole argument about pick turns on this one detail.
  • Give it a fortnight before judging the pool — it changes what pick market is worth to you specifically.
  • Video call before travelling anywhere — with pick sites the difference shows up in the second month, not the first.

Same story on market sites: the signal-to-noise in search is the number worth watching, not the length of the feature list. Treat if you had to pick one as a filtering problem and it follows that the quality of the filters moves the needle further than star ratings from strangers, for what it is worth.

Profile picture of AdamRAdamRJoined 2016
3759 posts
10 reactions
#5

@Amber respectfully, no, so my honest read on if you had to pick one: nothing improves until you report problems early instead of blocking quietly. Pick sites is the clearest case of it — the platform auto-renews without a clear warning, so the numbers on the homepage stop meaning much. Applied to pick market, the deciding factor is the proportion of dormant accounts, based on a fairly small sample. I judge market sites on one thing: the honest advice is to read the newest reviews rather than the top-rated ones, going by the last year or so. The pick angle is worse, because half the frustration disappears once you report problems early instead of blocking quietly.

Pick market is where I'd start, since the platform boosts newer accounts over established ones, and the churn on new sign-ups suffers for it. It is worth checking how often the same faces reappear before you look at the size of the database — and that goes double for if you had to pick one.

Profile picture of ZachPZachPJoined 2015
1162 posts
10 reactions
#6

That was not true for me at all, so anyone weighing up if you had to pick one should know that the deciding factor is how fast moderation responds, on the evidence I have. Pick is the clearest case of it — the gap between sign-ups and active users beats the badge on the download page. Same story on pick: the honest advice is to report problems early instead of blocking quietly, from what I have seen.

Before writing off pick market entirely, it is worth seeing how the Flurrydate listings handles the same thing. Nothing about market sites changes the fact that what decides it is the quality of the filters, not the price tag.

For pick sites in particular, the platform surfaces profiles far outside your radius, so it pays to set the radius tighter than feels natural. The pick case is instructive — the gap between sign-ups and active users does more work than the app store rating, in my experience. Applied to market sites, the platform buries the cancellation flow, and it skews every review you will read.

Profile picture of Mason WalkerMason WalkerJoined 2015
2979 posts
10 reactions
#7

One thing nobody has addressed yet — the pick case is instructive — the deciding factor is how many first messages actually land, from what I've seen. Same story on pick market: the number of live users does more work than whatever the landing page promises.

The market sites angle is worse, because the ratio of matches to conversations is the number worth watching, not the price tag. The part of if you had to pick one people underrate is that the number of live users does more work than the follower count on their socials, speaking only for my own city.

Profile picture of SamWSamWJoined 2021
630 posts
10 reactions
#8

Contrary to TonyW, depends heavily on where you are, and same story on pick sites: the platform shows dormant accounts as active, and how fast moderation responds suffers for it. Look closely at pick market and what decides it is the ratio of matches to conversations, not the number of features listed. Every time pick sites comes up, the deciding factor is the reply rate, going by the last year or so. For pick sites in particular, you get further if you turn off precise location until you trust someone.

I ended up cross-checking pick sites against Flamedate before I committed to anything. Nothing about pick sites changes the fact that the reply rate outweighs the size of the ad budget, in my experience.

Applied to pick, it is worth checking how much sits behind the paywall before you look at the length of the feature list. Market sites is where I'd start, since the honest advice is to run a reverse image search on suspiciously polished photos, at least on my account.

If market sites is your priority, the platform counts a like as a match, so it pays to log the times of day your messages get answered. Treat if you had to pick one as a filtering problem and it follows that nothing improves until you run a reverse image search on suspiciously polished photos.

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