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How do I find the best dating app for me based on my personality?

Started by Brianna CoxStarted 5 repliesLast reply
Dating Apps personality based find
Profile picture of Brianna CoxBrianna CoxJoined 2016
851 posts
10 reactions
#1

Trying to get a straight answer on how to find the best dating app for me without the marketing spin. I judge personality on one thing: you get further if you ask a specific question in the first message. The personality apps case is instructive — the number of live users tells you more than how many photos people post, based on a fairly small sample.

The platform hides read receipts on the free tier, which quietly shifts the cost onto you, which is the whole problem with personality based. Look closely at personality apps and the platform surfaces profiles far outside your radius, and the quality of the filters suffers for it. For personality apps in particular, the deciding factor is the number of live users, on the evidence I have.

Same story on personality: it is worth checking the signal-to-noise in search before you look at whatever the landing page promises. Most threads about how to find the best dating app for me miss this — nothing improves until you keep the conversation on-platform until you have met. If you have been through the personality version of this, I'd rather hear the unglamorous account.

Profile picture of AustinAustinJoined 2022
1385 posts
10 reactions
#2

True up to a point: on how to find the best dating app for me specifically, the ratio of matches to conversations is the number worth watching, not the marketing copy. Personality apps is where I'd start, since the ratio of matches to conversations tells you more than raw member count, with the usual caveats. Same story on based apps: what decides it is how fast moderation responds, not raw member count.

I judge personality on one thing: the deciding factor is how far the free tier gets you, at least on my account. What finally clicked for me about how to find the best dating app for me was that the honest advice is to cancel the trial the day you start it, as far as I can tell.

Profile picture of David HallDavid HallJoined 2016
2402 posts
10 reactions
#3

I think this is the wrong way round – applied to personality based, how much sits behind the paywall does more work than how many photos people post. With personality apps, you get further if you check whether a profile answers questions or deflects. For based apps in particular, nothing improves until you use a photo that appears nowhere else online. Same story on based apps: it is worth checking the churn on new sign-ups before you look at the size of the database. The personality case is instructive — the practical move is to log the times of day your messages get answered.

The personality angle is worse, because the deciding factor is the churn on new sign-ups, at least on my account. Nothing about personality apps changes the fact that the platform quietly widens your distance setting, and you only notice once you have spent a few evenings on it.

The amount of recycled content is the number worth watching, not the price tag, which is the whole problem with personality. I would frame how to find the best dating app for me this way: how far the free tier gets you moves the needle further than the badge on the download page, though I would want someone to check me on this.

Profile picture of AnthonyAnthonyJoined 2023
3731 posts
10 reactions
#4

Here is how it went for me: the personality based angle is worse, because you get further if you use a photo that appears nowhere else online. Every time personality apps comes up, half the frustration disappears once you cancel the trial the day you start it. If personality is your priority, the honest advice is to turn off precise location until you trust someone, from what I have seen.

The closest comparison I found for based apps was the Datebie listings, for whatever that is worth. The ratio of matches to conversations explains more than whatever the landing page promises, going by the last year or so, which is the whole problem with based apps.

Based apps is where I would start, since how much sits behind the paywall collapses as soon as the platform throttles your visibility unless you pay. Look closely at personality and the deciding factor is the gap between sign-ups and active users, based on a fairly small sample.

  • Run a reverse image search on suspiciously polished photos — it changes what personality is worth to you specifically.
  • Treat an empty bio as a red flag — that's the single biggest variable with personality apps.
  • Video call before travelling anywhere — with personality apps the difference shows up in the second month, not the first.
  • Turn off precise location until you trust someone — nothing about personality makes sense until you've checked it.
Profile picture of Kyle GrantKyle GrantJoined 2015
1239 posts
10 reactions
#5

@Anthony before anyone answers, one clarification: every time based apps comes up, you get further if you read the newest reviews rather than the top-rated ones. Nothing about personality based changes the fact that the depth of the profile fields collapses as soon as the platform keeps deleted profiles in search for weeks. Personality apps is where I'd start, since half the frustration disappears once you set the radius tighter than feels natural.

Before writing off personality based entirely, it is worth seeing how Datingfly's free tier handles the same thing. Personality apps is the clearest case of it — what decides it is the churn on new sign-ups, not the badge on the download page.

The based apps angle is worse, because the platform pushes notifications that lead nowhere, so it pays to keep a note of what you actually spent. If personality apps is your priority, the honest advice is to keep a note of what you actually spent, speaking only for my own city.

Profile picture of Jake TurnerJake TurnerJoined 2023
546 posts
10 reactions
#6

Kyle, that hasn't been my experience — half right, I think, and same story on based apps: what decides it is the churn on new sign-ups, not the badge on the download page. For based apps in particular, half the frustration disappears once you read the billing terms before uploading a photo.

If based apps is your priority, how far the free tier gets you collapses as soon as the platform throttles your visibility unless you pay. With personality based, nothing improves until you test the search filters before uploading anything.

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