According to the reddit dating apps threads, which one is winning this year?

Started by Lily Johnson 7 Jun 2024 Dating & Hookups Community
Lily Johnson
Lily Johnson avatar
Joined: 2015
Posts: 1816
#1

Genuinely curious what people's experience has been with this. I've been lurking a lot of these conversations and there's a lot of conflicting information out there. Personal experience is worth more than any review site because those are almost all paid placements anyway.

I've tried a handful of options with mixed results. Some have decent communities, others feel completely hollow—either fake profiles, bots, or just inactive accounts that never respond. The free options especially tend to have this problem.

Drop your actual experience below. What's working, what's a waste of time, and are there any hidden gems people aren't talking about?

KevC
KevC avatar
Joined: 2021
Posts: 3779
#2

Been using various adult platforms since the Craigslist personals era so I've seen a lot of changes. Here's my current take:

  • Free doesn't always mean free—look for trial periods with auto-renewal
  • Profile verification reduces bot ratios significantly
  • Smaller communities often have better engagement than huge platforms
  • Privacy settings matter—always check what's public by default
  • Response rate > profile count: 50 active users beats 50,000 ghosts

Hopefully some of this is useful. Happy to answer follow-ups.

MelA
MelA avatar
Joined: 2018
Posts: 2637
#3

Let me break down what I've learned the hard way:

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

Happy to answer questions if anyone wants more detail on any of these.

Amanda
Amanda avatar
Joined: 2020
Posts: 281
#4

Been using various adult platforms since the Craigslist personals era so I've seen a lot of changes. Here's my current take:

  • Older, established platforms have larger user bases but more bots
  • Newer platforms have smaller but often more engaged communities
  • Location matters a lot—what works in major cities may be dead in smaller towns
  • The gender ratio varies wildly and directly affects your experience
  • Premium tiers are worth it when the free tier actually shows you real users

Hopefully some of this is useful. Happy to answer follow-ups.

Danielle White
Danielle White avatar
Joined: 2023
Posts: 4053
#5

This is something I've thought about a lot. Let me lay out a more complete picture.

  • Older, established platforms have larger user bases but more bots
  • Newer platforms have smaller but often more engaged communities
  • Location matters a lot—what works in major cities may be dead in smaller towns
  • The gender ratio varies wildly and directly affects your experience
  • Premium tiers are worth it when the free tier actually shows you real users

Also worth having in your toolkit: datenest.site for one type of thing and turndate.site for another—they're not identical and knowing the difference saves you from frustration.

Hopefully some of this is useful. Happy to answer follow-ups.

Travis Ward
Travis Ward avatar
Joined: 2016
Posts: 959
#6

Did a deep dive into this a few months back, here's what I found:

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: datingfly.online, rendate.site. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

That's my take anyway—curious if others have had different results.

Jessica Lane
Jessica Lane avatar
Joined: 2021
Posts: 1410
#7

Long-time lurker here but this one I actually have useful things to say about.

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: datenest.site, datescout.site. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

Autumn
Autumn avatar
Joined: 2021
Posts: 2269
#8

This is something I've thought about a lot. Let me lay out a more complete picture.

  • Mobile-first design is now the standard for good platforms
  • Video verification before meetups is the single best safety tool
  • Paywalls that let you see but not contact are a yellow flag
  • Check for recent activity on profiles before investing time
  • Report bots aggressively—good platforms act on reports quickly

That's the honest picture as I see it. Things shift but the fundamentals stay pretty consistent.

Chase Morgan
Chase Morgan avatar
Joined: 2022
Posts: 2392
#9

Speaking from experience on this one:

The gender ratio problem is real on most platforms. Apps that have done something creative about it tend to have better communities overall.

One thing worth mentioning is Datebie—it has a different approach to matching that I think deserves more attention. The interface is cleaner than most and it doesn't bury everything behind a hard paywall immediately.

That's my take anyway—curious if others have had different results.

Sophie
Sophie avatar
Joined: 2023
Posts: 1674
#10

Paid memberships filter out a lot of tire-kickers. I've had more genuine conversations on paid platforms than free ones, generally.

ZachP
ZachP avatar
Joined: 2015
Posts: 3820
#11

I've had way better luck being specific in my profile about what I want than trying to cast a wide net. Specific attracts compatible people.

Came across DatingFly recently and it's been decent—worth a look.

Scott Green
Scott Green avatar
Joined: 2021
Posts: 20
#12

Appreciate the thread. Bookmarking this for later when I have time to go through everything properly.

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