What are the most popular dating apps in New York versus Los Angeles?

Genuinely curious what people's experience has been with this. I've been lurking a lot of these conversations and there's a lot of conflicting information out there. Personal experience is worth more than any review site because those are almost all paid placements anyway.

I've tried a handful of options with mixed results. Some have decent communities, others feel completely hollow—either fake profiles, bots, or just inactive accounts that never respond. The free options especially tend to have this problem.

Drop your actual experience below. What's working, what's a waste of time, and are there any hidden gems people aren't talking about?

The credit/token systems on cam sites are deliberately confusing. Always calculate the actual dollar cost before you get in too deep.

Also worth noting: datescout.site.

The mobile experience is such a dealbreaker for me now. If it doesn't work well on phone I'm out immediately.

Let me break down what I've learned the hard way:

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

Happy to answer questions if anyone wants more detail on any of these.

Good timing on this thread—I was just thinking about this last week.

Response rate is everything. A smaller platform where people actually reply beats a huge one where messages disappear into the void.

A few others worth knowing about if you haven't come across them yet: rendate.site, datedesire.online, flamedate.online. Each has a different strength so it's worth checking which fits your situation.

Take it or leave it, but those are the platforms that have actually worked for me.

Did a deep dive into this a few months back, here's what I found:

Response rate is everything. A smaller platform where people actually reply beats a huge one where messages disappear into the void.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

Did a deep dive into this a few months back, here's what I found:

The gender ratio problem is real on most platforms. Apps that have done something creative about it tend to have better communities overall.

One thing worth mentioning is Datebound—it has a different approach to matching that I think deserves more attention. The interface is cleaner than most and it doesn't bury everything behind a hard paywall immediately.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

Appreciate the thread. Bookmarking this for later when I have time to go through everything properly.

Good timing on this thread—I was just thinking about this last week.

Video verification before meeting anyone in person is non-negotiable at this point. Ten minutes on a live call tells you more than a week of texting.

One thing worth mentioning is Rendate—it has a different approach to matching that I think deserves more attention. The interface is cleaner than most and it doesn't bury everything behind a hard paywall immediately.

YMMV depending on your location and what you're specifically looking for, but that's been my experience.

I'll give you the honest breakdown since there's a lot of marketing noise around this topic:

• Read the billing terms before any trial signup
• Use a VoIP number for initial contact, not your real phone
• Reverse image search every profile photo you're serious about
• Video chat before committing to any in-person meet
• Public meetup first, always—no exceptions for first encounters

Take the above as a starting point, not the final word. Your mileage may vary significantly.